Messages

Well...everyone likes to give messages...whether direct or in between the lines...

I like people who are direct. Just saying things the way they are...

All other methods are dumb...

If you want to say something...just say it...

Don't go around giving messages not knowing whether people will understand them or not...

Instead of her giving me signs...she should just say it... "Hey! Don't try. I won't go out with you."

But no. She has to do it her way.

She has to make me think she has agreed to meet with me...and then she won't show up... Why? Why do it like that... And why 4 times...

I feel that I will never know...

The Truth is Out There

Oh yea... it really is... I told the Princess about the blog I'm writing... I even sent her a link...

Her only response: "Wow, I'm a bitch."
My response: "No You are not."
No answer.

Well... maybe when you read this you'll know... I'm fine... really... whatever happened... it happened...

Now... moving on...

4:0

One day I asked her... "Will I ever go out with you? Do I have a chance?"
Her response wasn't very clear... as a matter of fact... it was mysterious... and I had no idea what it meant...
Hope dies last... and for me Hope hadn't died yet.

She asked me: "Are you free on Saturday?"
My response: "Yes. I'm free. What about you? Any plans?"
She said: "No. Not at this time."
Myself: "So. Dinner at Graziano's. Saturday. What do you say?"
Her: "That sounds like a good deal. Is that the one near Village Crossing?"
Myself: "Yes. That's the one I know. So what time so good for you? I'll make reservations."
Her: "7ish,"
After going on Open Table and reserving a spot for 2 people at Graziano's on Saturday Night... I thought it was a great deal... because... let's face it... Saturday Night is busy... everywhere... Reservations should be made 3-4 days ahead for some places.
Myself: "Reservation has been made for 7pm." I even sent her a screenshot just to let her see i am not bs-ing her...
Her: "YAY! Awesome."
Myself: "So, will I see you there?"
Her: "Yes. I'll come."

That made all the difference. A great restaurant, a reservation, and a final confirmation from her.

7pm. I'm already at the restaurant. I'm sitting on the table. I had sent her a text message that I'm already there. Maybe she can't respond when she is driving... OK... fine.
7:15pm I sent her a text message. Once again... And she never responded. I felt my heart fell in my stomach. Like a stone...
7:20pm I left the restaurant... Seriously... I wanted to cry... but I actually laughed... I told myself... She did it again... and on Tuesday... she will act like nothing happened...

The Day She Showed Up at Starbucks Wearing an Invisible Hat

So after taking a long break from the second time...
I decided to try one final 3rd time... I thought... she must know me well by now... so she shouldn't be afraid to meet me...
That was not the case however...
The first two times, I was saying to myself, were my mistake... I thought she agreed to meet... but she never did... so if she never confirmed that we will actually meet, it is my fault... I shouldn't be broken...
I kept telling myself... maybe she was unable to respond to my calls or messages... I kept defending her... and on the other side... I wanted to defend myself too... but... it only works one way...
I asked her out again... and I wanted to make it as easy as possible on her....
"Let's meet somewhere close to your job..." and she agreed.
After we negotiated to meet at a Starbucks Coffee not far from where she works... I wanted her to confirm that she will come... and she confirmed...
In my mind... that was different... this time she confirmed... she should show... but deep down I kept having doubts... her confirmation was only a "yea".
3:15pm, I'm at Starbucks Coffee... I ordered a cappuccino and waited... and waited... and waited... then I began writing... I began writing to try and lay my pain on paper...because I knew... she fooled me a 3rd time... this time it was different for me... even though I was hurt... I laughed about what she did... so I sent her a text message... knowing she will not respond...
But she did...
I sent her: "You are baaaaad." Then she responded by asking me why do I think she is bad.
My response: "You showed up at Starbucks wearing an invisible hat."
She never responded to that... No surprise there tho... I said what was on my mind...
I told her... "You're going in my blog! I'm gonna keep writing about you. Thank you for inspiring me."
I risked everything... the line between where a girl accept a joke as a joke and calling the one who wrote it "creepy" is very thin...
I was lucky she never called me creepy...

The Second Time

Since I wanted to ask her out again, I did it. I knew she expected a guy to take initiative, and I took initiative, and arranged a meeting that was in the middle of where we live (she lives about 1 hour drive away from me).
Steak 'n' Shake... and it was a Wednesday... and it was her idea to meet... it sounded like she insisted on it... like she had something important to discuss with me...
The result... she did not show up again...
So I decide that I'll give myself a break from asking her out...
We kept communicating... And she kept acting like nothing has happened...
As I said before... two can play at this game... So I decided to keep playing.
I never kept asking her for an explanation... I didn't want that to end our friendship...
I kept thinking... she might say that she doesn't like a guy "bitchin" because a girl didn't show on a date... so I kept my mouth shut...
It worked perfectly fine for both of us...

The First Time

We talked on the phone a couple of times...
One time she asked me to call her... and I called her... but she suddenly hung up without saying anything... I found that weird....but at the same time, the reception wasn't really top notch, so I tried to call her again. She said it is not a good time for her to talk so, we ended our conversation.
It was all weird... but...yea...the only excuse she had was "I sound like a frog"
I tried to make things better by telling her that her voice is fine and that I like it... but I guess it never had any effect.
It had been some time since we first began communicating... at work we exchanged e-mails.
So that was the main source of communication. She stopped picking up her phone, or responding to text messages. I didn't mind.
One day she said: "when are we going out?"... it was a surprise for me since I thought I'd never get to go out with her, but if she is asking for it, then why not?
She and I arranged to meet on Sunday - at a mini-golf place.
I was excited and I thought she was too, until she did not show.
I was broken in pieces. No one has ever done that to me... I wanted an explanation... I texted her... I tried to call her... she never picked up the phone. She just hung up instead of picking up. I left her a voice mail...
On Monday, I checked our communication e-mails... and I found out that she never actually confirmed that she agreed to meet. Okay... my mistake... why she didn't reply...
I asked her... she did not say anything...
Okay... you wanna play that game... I can play that game... I decided to forget and move on.

The Beginning

I've never really had much luck with dating websites... Ever since I remember, the people on there were either fake, or too busy to date...
Until one day... I found this profile and it sounded amazing. I decided to try my luck...
She responded pretty quickly... After a few messages, she sent me her phone number and asked me to text her instead. I thought... well...no girl would give her phone number if she wasn't serious about "trying and seeing where it goes".
So we began texting... and it was fun. She called me on my birthday...calling me Mr. Birthday Boy...
I can say everything was going normal... i was patient and taking it slow, as it is expected when one wants to meet someone from a dating website.